


But if I Had One Chance to Freeze Time

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny watches Zayn smile – the fond kind of smile where his eyes crinkle and he would scrunch his nose just a little. The smile that for so many years has been Danny’s, but maybe it’s Louis’s now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But if I Had One Chance to Freeze Time

**Author's Note:**

> A special thanks to my friends Joanna and Solange for putting up with me worrying over it. I'm not really sure how I feel about this as a whole, as I've never really written Danny, and I could have gotten it majorly wrong. I'd appreciate any/all feedback.

Danny thinks he’s Zayn first real friend – actually no, he’s pretty sure he _was_ Zayn’s first real friend.

 

It all starts on the playground in Bradford where Mickey Alan would pick on Zayn every other day. Sometimes it’s for his lunch money, and other times, it’s because of things far more sinister. Danny spent a lot of time watching Zayn from across the playground – and the other kid handled it pretty well most of the time. But one afternoon in April, Mickey had brought along his mates from Leeds. They were older, and Danny thinks one of them might even be a teenager – or at least twelve, and that at the time, was scary.

 

That’s when Danny steps in. He pushes Mickey to the ground when he tries to take Zayn’s lunch money, and punches another lad – Danny can’t remember his name but he’s pretty sure he’ll always remember the face. Scary doesn’t even begin to cut it. Ant joins in on the playground scrap at one point, and even Zayn throws in a couple of punches. When the grownups come by and  stop the fight, all three of them are pretty battered up.

 

They get in trouble, of course. But Danny doesn’t mind. That moment was what made him friends with Zayn because, after that day, they would always hang out at the playground. Zayn’s mum would pack them lunches and they would eat them, talking about all sorts of weird things.

 

“You’re my best mate, you know that?” Zayn had asked Danny one Friday afternoon on the way home from school. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and smiles that smile – that smile that Danny would always think is his. “Not that I have many other mates, but you’re the best – and Ant, obviously.”

 

Danny nods. “You’re my best mate too – well, I think you might be my only real mate actually.” It’s true though. Danny has a lot of friends – some he’s actually quite close to. But the only real friend, the only one that ever really knows him, is Zayn.

 

That doesn’t really change on tour, not even when Zayn calls him from Melbourne. “You have no idea what I did tonight.”

 

“Tell me.” Danny says, over the phone. He tucks the phone between his ear and shoulder as he makes himself a sandwich. The apartment he shared with Zayn is now insanely empty with Zayn on tour.

 

Zayn laughs on the other end. “So Louis and I went out the other night to some bar or another, and there was this dude and we decided that we’d play a prank and…”

 

The story continues on to details that Danny doesn’t quite pick up because Zayn is rambling and the service is poor. Danny nods, making noises at the right time. After all these years, he knows Zayn’s quirks and how he tells his stories. Eventually he says, “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

 

“It was.” Zayn admits. “You have no idea how amazing Louis is. You should meet up with him again, when we come home.”

 

Danny nods. He’d like that – Louis seems fun. “When are you coming back?”

 

“Soon.” Zayn tells him. “Dude, I have so many stories to tell you – actually did I tell you what Louis and I did the other week? We almost got arrested in Sydney.”

 

Danny furrows his brow. “Arrested?”

 

“Well – not _really_ arrested.” Zayn quickly corrects. “We snuck out and got into some trouble, but it was fun. He’s like one of the coolest mates you can have.”

 

“Sounds like it.”

 

Danny likes that Zayn has found someone to have fun with on tour. Actually he found four people to, but Louis is different. Maybe Zayn won’t call him his best mate, probably out of some sort of respect to Danny (respect that Danny doesn’t think he needs, because really, Zayn will be his in a way that he won’t be anyone else’s), but Louis is special to him. Maybe he’s Zayn’s new best mate. But Danny knows he’s still the first.

 

~

 

Danny doesn’t remember how it happened, but it happened at their Drama club’s Hamlet after party. They weren’t supposed to be drinking, but Zayn wasn’t one to follow the rules, and Danny less so. It’s only when they were completely smashed and accidentally locked in a storage closet and laughing that Zayn asks, inbetween giggles, “Have you ever been with a dude?”

 

“What.” Danny asks, but it’s not a question. Zayn just shrugs and takes another swig from the flask. “Have _you?”_ Danny challenges.

 

Zayn shakes his head. “No I just wondered how it would be.”

 

“Kinda like being with a girl, right?” Danny asks. He knows the answer is no, but somehow the question slips out. Zayn laughs and shakes his head. It’s not that Danny didn’t think about how it might feel to kiss a bloke before, but he never _really_ thought about it. And he’s not sure he’s thinking about it now either. “Why are you wondering?”

 

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment and instead starts gesturing wildly around the storage closet which causes a bucket to come crashing to the ground. Danny looks at Zayn who looks back at him. “Don’t you just wonder about things sometimes?”

 

“No.” Danny pauses. “Maybe – sometimes.”

 

Zayn nods. “Guys can be fit.”

 

“Yeah, I guess they are.” Danny tells him. He’s not really sure why they’re talking about this, or even what they’re talking about. He’s not sure why they’re in a closet – the actual, physical kind, and why Zayn is suddenly extremely touchy. Because Zayn throws his arm around Danny, and tries to say something, but ends up just slurring nonsense and laughing. “Zayn – how much have you drank?”

 

Zayn shrugs. “More than I probably should.”

 

“Wanna slow down?” Danny asks, far more sober than he’s been all night. Zayn shakes his head no, but Danny grabs the flask away from him. It’s good to have a size advantage, and Zayn looks at him through those eyelashes and grins, mischievously. Danny looks at him – _really_ looks at him, and maybe, okay, guys can sometimes be fit. Well, Zayn is at least.

 

Zayn runs his fingers along Danny’s bottom lip, and Danny wants to swat it away but he doesn’t. Because it’s Zayn and it kind of feels nice. He murmurs, “Can I  -”

 

“I…” Danny nods, dumbly. He doesn’t know what else to say. Before Zayn can do anything though, a thought hits him. “You’re going to remember this in the morning, aren’t you?”

 

Zayn nods. “I remember everything.” And he kisses Danny, and it could be the best kiss Danny has ever had. Even if it’s sloppy and rough, and really, everything Zayn is.

 

Despite everything he says, Zayn wakes up with a terrible hangover and no knowledge of the fact that he kissed his best friend the night before – or the fact that he confessed to finding guys attractive. He doesn’t even remember getting locked in a closet, and Danny isn’t one to remind him of these things. So he doesn’t bring it up, and they don’t ever talk about the Hamlet after party.

 

~

 

At least that was the idea – except they do talk about it one night when Zayn barges into Danny’s apartment during his time off from tour. Zayn has the spare key to his apartment, and more often than not, doesn’t bother calling ahead of time to let Danny know he’s coming over. This time around, he walks in just as Danny walks out of the shower, pulling on a shirt.

 

Danny blinks. “Oh, welcome home.”

 

“I fucked up.” Zayn tells him, collapsing on the couch and turning on the TV. Zayn doesn’t bother with pleasantries with him and Danny doesn’t expect them anymore. “I seriously messed up.”

 

Danny gets a drink from the fridge. “How so?”

 

“Do you remember the Hamlet after party a few years ago?” Zayn asks casually, and Danny freezes. It’s not just that he remembers that day, but he never forgot. He hoped Zayn would have bought it up years ago, but Zayn never did, and Danny figured he really didn’t remember. Now that he bought it up, Danny doesn’t know what to say and Zayn sighs. “I _know_ you remember – you were less smashed than me.”

 

Danny hands Zayn a soda. “Why are we talking about it now?”

 

“It never came up before.” Zayn shrugs. He pauses a moment, taking a sip, before saying, “Something like that happened again.”

 

Danny glances at him, and he has a contemplative look on his face. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“Me kissing you or me fucking up majorly?” Zayn asks, laughing. Danny just shrugs – he would prefer to talk about their kiss but it’s up to Zayn. Eventually the other man says, “I remembered it, you know. I just wanted you to bring it up, and when you didn’t, I figured you either forgot or didn’t want me to talk about it.”

 

Danny groans. “I thought _you_ forgot.”

 

“Is it a Bradford thing with this whole bad communication thing?”

 

Danny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, or maybe it’s a Zayn thing and we might never know.”

 

“Piss off.” Zayn laughs. He pauses a moment and then adds, “Was it good though?”

  

 _Was it good though?_ It’s good enough that Danny spends much of the last four years comparing every person he’s kissed to Zayn, and finding that nobody really compared. Even if it was sloppy, it was still the best kiss he’s ever had. He would say as much to the other man, but instead shrugs. “It was alright.”

 

“You were good though.” Zayn says, casually. Danny can feel his face flushing but turns away from Zayn, so he can’t see. He doesn’t notice though and continues. “Man, it’s so much easier kissing one of your best mates when you’re drunk. At least you can play it off as not remembering, even if it’s a dick move.”

 

Danny’s furrows his brow. “You kissed one of your best mates?” Danny doesn’t want to think about how the number of best mates is now plural when, for so many years, it was just him – and maybe Ant, but mostly him.

 

“Yeah, which is the fucking up part.” Zayn tells him. He gets up off the couch and looks out the apartment window, pensively. He doesn’t say anything for a while and Danny opens his mouth to urge Zayn to continue but Zayn doesn’t need the encouragement. He continues, “It’s Louis and we were just messing about – you know play fighting and wrestling and you know, typical Louis things and it just happened and now it’s like – I don’t even know how it’s like.”

 

Danny sighs. He should have seen this coming. It doesn’t hurt – not the fact that Louis is basically Zayn’s second best mate, or even that Zayn kissed him. Nothing hurts, it’s just different, but Danny can’t say it’s a good different. “Well nothing between us changed – even now that you told me you remembered.”

 

“Yeah but you’re _you._ ” Zayn waves lazily. “And Louis is…well, he’s Louis, you know?”

 

Danny is he’s not sure what exactly Zayn means about that. “How so?”

 

“Well.” Zayn starts, but pauses to bite his lip. “It’s different innit? A different kind of feeling – and, are we seriously talking about feelings right now?”

 

Danny rolls his eyes. “If you want my advice, you’re gonna have to talk about feelings.”

 

“Okay.” Zayn sighs, finishing up his drink. “We were both sober and he kissed me back. I just – I think I want something more. Like a relationship or something, and I don’t know if this is because of me being fucking mental after the Perrie break up or…” He trails off looking at Danny.

 

Danny understands. “Or if this is what you always wanted.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Maybe you did.” Danny still remembers the night in the closet. Zayn nods and Danny continues. “Why don’t you talk to Louis about it?”

 

Zayn sighs. “I think I have to.”

 

Danny doesn’t know what Zayn tells Louis, but it’s all over the papers in a week that they’re dating. Danny can’t help but smile for them, even if a part of him wishes that Zayn would have had this epiphany when they were younger. He pushes that thought out quickly though. He’ll live in the knowledge that he was Zayn’s first kiss with a bloke.

 

~

 

Zayn and Louis are, in a word, perfect for each other and Danny knows it. A year later and they still smile at each other like they’re on their first date or something. Danny remembers Harry telling him that he doesn’t know if Zayn and Louis are cute together or nauseating, and Danny can’t help but agree. Most days they’re practically attached at the hip, and nobody can really hang out with one without the other. Today is no different.

 

Danny is in London on the eve of One Direction’s concert at Wembley, and Danny looks over the balcony of their hotel room at Louis playing football in the parking lot below with Niall, Liam, and Harry. Zayn was showering before, but Danny hears a click and turns around to the balcony door opening.

 

“Hey you.” Danny smiles at Zayn who runs a hand through his wet hair. “Excited?”

 

Zayn shrugs. “Scared more like.”

 

“You’ve done it before though, Z.” Danny says, reaching out to mess up Zayn’s hair which gets him a pout in return. Danny laughs, “How many sold out arenas is it now? You’re a pro with this.”

 

Zayn laughs, leaning against the railing. He looks down at Louis, who scores a goal and celebrates by sticking his tongue out at Niall. Danny watches Zayn smile – the fond kind of smile where his eyes crinkle and he would scrunch his nose just a little. The smile that for so many years has been Danny’s, but maybe it’s Louis’s now. Danny glances at Zayn. “You should look at yourself right now – completely smitten.”

 

“Did you seriously just say smitten?” Zayn laugh. “So much for the big, bad Bradford boy huh?”

 

Danny can’t keep the smile off his face. “I thought that was you.”

 

“Not really.” Zayn waves, dismissing him. Neither of them say anything for a moment – content in watching the others play football below. Eventually Zayn turns, and Danny glances at him. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, biting his lip. Danny quirks an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. “I wanted to be you in a way – you were so fucking cool, mate. Older and, yeah, a bit fit and maybe…”

 

Danny turns to face Zayn. “And maybe?”

 

“Maybe you were my first love.” Zayn confessed. Danny blinks because _what_ is Zayn talking about, and Zayn seems to realize this because he laughs. “Maybe it was more like a school boy crush, but it was something.”

 

 _Oh._ Danny blinks again. Because really, he wanted this confession. To know it wasn’t just him thinking about Zayn – like more than he probably should be thinking about his best mate. Ant used to make fun of him, and constantly told him that he could have been in love with Zayn. He thought about the other man enough for that to be worth considering. But there’s something else, a level of finality in what Zayn is saying that stops Danny for a moment.

 

“Yeah?” Danny asks. “What changed?”

 

Zayn looks down at the parking lot again, but Louis isn’t there. He’s probably inside changing or something. Zayn shrugs, “I guess Louis happened.”

 

“Yeah.” Danny nods. “For what it’s worth – I think I might have too. Liked you a lot. Maybe.”

 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “You could have told me this years ago.”

 

“Louis would have still happened.” Danny points out. “Besides – remember we Bradford boys don’t do the communication thing really well?”

 

Zayn laughs. “Yeah. But – yeah, I’m just glad I told you now.”

 

“I’m glad you did.” Danny says. He opens his mouth to continue when the screendoor opens again and Louis walks out. Danny grins, “Speak of the devil.”

  

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” Louis asks, linking his hands with Zayn’s.

 

Zayn smiles. “Even if you were, there’s no way you’d stop.”

 

“No, probably not.” Louis admits. He pulls Zayn closer to him, and leans up to whisper something. Danny can’t help but watch as Zayn’s eyes widen and he nods quickly. Louis turns to Danny. “I’m gonna steal him from you for a bit.”

 

Danny shrugs. “I can’t stop you even if I wanted to.”

 

“You’re the best, Danny boy.” Louis smirks, pulling Zayn out of the room behind him.

 

Harry was right. Danny isn’t sure if Zayn and Louis are cute or nauseating. Maybe it’s both. What he does know is that Zayn is happy, and he missed his chance years ago. It’s not totally his fault though – Zayn never told him, and he never asked. Considering they tell each other everything, this seems weird, but maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Ultimately Louis would still happen, and he did. If Zayn is right, and Danny was his first love in a way, Louis is most certainly his last. Nothing would change that.


End file.
